Urggh...
Two more days of examination to go..
And my mind is downright messed up.
straight to the core.
I've been thinking.
About my relationship with those who I call my friends.
And the more I think about it.
The more I think that they're simply illusions made up by my desperate heart.
Oh so desperate.To confide in someone I can trust,and for that someone to have their trust and faith sealed in me.
To have that kind of worthiness.So desperate.
I have friends.yes.Even went as far as dubbing them as 'best friends'.
But that I look back into the past history of our relationship.
I can't really name someone who is a true friend.
Given that someone asks me about who I value the most as a friend.
I don't think I will be able to answer that.
My friends,they are there for me.Most of the time.
But,each one of them has a person whom they are close to,even more than me.
I know I sound selfish.Spoiled even in the eyes of some.
I know what I'm asking is maybe even a little too much.
But I feel so left out and awkward.
It even hurts to have this kind of emptiness.
I trust my friends.I rarely keep anything secret from them.Believing that they will,in turn do the same.
But as time passes..slowly,one by one seemed to be brimming with things that they almost so desperately wish to hide from me.
I feel so rejected.All the f*****g time I poured my heart and soul to them.
And I guess I'm just not good enough.
I know.Having accepted my weaknesses long ago.Though doing nothing to improve it.
Alas,maybe it's not my time yet.
I just hope one day soon,I'll know what it's like to have,
a true friend.
Sep 12, 2008
Aug 31, 2008
have you ever?~..
daydreaming.one of the easiest and fastest route to a stress free life.
Im sure all of you must've done it,a lot.
I myself am quite the dreamer.
Dreams.things that we could only hope to achieve.
Most of us are too scared (and/or lazy) to try and fulfill it,and that's where daydreaming comes in the picture.
There are a vast array of subjects which we can let our mind drift into.
Lying down.alone in the room.bored out of our craniums.spending almost hours,just letting our mind and soul drift into a world where everything goes our way.for once.
Letting our imagination run wild,without any boundaries to stop us from being what we like.doing what we want.and having the person that you love.even if they do not,and probably will not.return your feelings.
But it's ok.let us enjoy with what little is left of our imagination.escape.free your mind.
Creating our little fantasy,our little secret.Kept safe from the world.
Before coming back to reality.
Having a good memory.It doesnt even count that it's only made up.
At least you are honest with yourself.
be FREE.
Im sure all of you must've done it,a lot.
I myself am quite the dreamer.
Dreams.things that we could only hope to achieve.
Most of us are too scared (and/or lazy) to try and fulfill it,and that's where daydreaming comes in the picture.
There are a vast array of subjects which we can let our mind drift into.
Lying down.alone in the room.bored out of our craniums.spending almost hours,just letting our mind and soul drift into a world where everything goes our way.for once.
Letting our imagination run wild,without any boundaries to stop us from being what we like.doing what we want.and having the person that you love.even if they do not,and probably will not.return your feelings.
But it's ok.let us enjoy with what little is left of our imagination.escape.free your mind.
Creating our little fantasy,our little secret.Kept safe from the world.
Before coming back to reality.
Having a good memory.It doesnt even count that it's only made up.
At least you are honest with yourself.
be FREE.
Aug 19, 2008
Hullo all~
I dont really have anything to say in this particular post.
It's just that I suddenly remembered something that I wanted to share all of you out there who loves art,in any form (drawing,literature,etc.)
There's a great online community for all you art folks out there,where you can submit your work,get criticism,great advice and of course,share your art with the world.
And if you're up to it,you can even start a business (selling prints of your artwork online~)
You can make new friends,share your opinions and much more..
I myself registered there a few years back..tho' i have been quite passive this year,havent got time to draw as much as i used to.
Oh well, if there's any of you who are interested,here's the link >> http://www.deviantart.com
and here's my account,do drop by if you registered~ http://s-p-liana.deviantart.com
I dont really have anything to say in this particular post.
It's just that I suddenly remembered something that I wanted to share all of you out there who loves art,in any form (drawing,literature,etc.)
There's a great online community for all you art folks out there,where you can submit your work,get criticism,great advice and of course,share your art with the world.
And if you're up to it,you can even start a business (selling prints of your artwork online~)
You can make new friends,share your opinions and much more..
I myself registered there a few years back..tho' i have been quite passive this year,havent got time to draw as much as i used to.
Oh well, if there's any of you who are interested,here's the link >> http://www.deviantart.com
and here's my account,do drop by if you registered~ http://s-p-liana.deviantart.com
Aug 15, 2008
whine~
SPM trial is just around the corner. And I'm still far from ready. Lack of study. Ill discipline. Its like my world revolves around procrastination and laziness. This HAS to stop. I know. I accept the very fact that I have to change for the better. But thats it. I accept the situation,but I do nothing to fix it. I need some serious motivation. fast. Must study. It's not like I hate school. In fact,I enjoy most of the subjects,especially when I come to realize that it's not that hard to understand. I just hope I'll change before it's to late.
~adios.
~adios.
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