What happens tonight?

1^st ramble

Ive lost count of how many times I wished so hard that my life is a flawless movie.

And then I smacked my head knowing that im way over my head, and for not appreciating how beautiful my life already is.

But then people tend to drown themselves in silly rainbow bright fairytales, escaping to their little happy place, trying to run away from reality when it becomes too hard to digest.

2^nd ramble

People say, if you cant beat em, join em instead, sounds easy enough. But what if, you cant do that no matter how much you try. What happens then? In a situation where the only reason you want to join is because your heart is so lonely and cold. Desperately wishing the warmth of a good company. Almost to a point of choking because the hollow in your chest keeps growing, engulfing you in silent pain. What then??

3^rd ramble

Im in a terrible state, as you can probably already tell. I could feel the waterworks coming again. Which reminds me, how the hell does someone start weeping all of a sudden for no reason? Is there anyone else who has experienced this? Do tell, please. I cant even figure that out myself.

I need someone,anyone. I miss home so so bad.

I say this and yet I don't even call to ask "whats up lately?" its cause thatll last for a whole 10 seconds before it gets awkward and then after 5 mins I'll just hang up, that's my family for you. Cant help it, but when we're all together, its magic.

My friends are my family too. And Im doing such a lousy job as one. Barely contact any of them now, thank God for FB. Or else I'd be worse than I am now.

Well there you go, a lil weepy whiny emo entry for tonight, sorry to bother folks. J