two thousand and TEN.

currently listening to the blasting music from my ipod,these deafening tunes seem to help retain the calm that i seek so much.

a lot has been going on in me as we bid goodbye to this year,beckoning the next with warm hearts in hope of bigger and better things to come.

my emotions have been in quite a wreck,so many things that im trying to sort out,i dont understand them, so much that im not even able to put them

to words that makes things a whole lot simpler.

maybe its all because of the pressure of a new year, a new beginning? so much things that i wish i could change,

so many resolutions to be fulfilled. and yet, i feel like im slowly sinking as low as to be a complete and utter hypocrite,

may be not to myself, but to others.

in the previous post ive moaned and bitched on and on about the pressure if a so called friendly image.

i honestly feel that smiling itself is a burden when not done from the heart, but yeah, i guess i unwillingly have to admit to the fact that

sooner or later change is in due. i mean, who would want a sourpuss for an employee right?

still taking my sweet time with the whole thing, and it would be oh so lovely if some of you who may read this could lend a hand, tips and ideas in helping

me cope with this simple yet somehow complicated matter.basically. i need  of motivation to get through next year.LOTS

I wanna change,so badly i do. For my sake, and for others, i wanna learn to smile, i wanna learn to care, to let go, to know when to stop,

and oh yeah, to actually take advice in a positive perspective *is a very negative person ya know. narrow minded too at times.*

im still naive, still learning , still searching for the right thing to do,how to live my life.

my list of resolutions keep growing as i can name so many of my flaws at the top of my head.

hoping to fulfill them and keep making new ones as they are completed,

heres to a good year for all of you out there.

HAPPY 2010 everyone!

tis d season to be b*tchy,lalalala.

ohoooooo-hoi!.

tis is me,being,again,completely unstable and random.

its just that, for some reason , i've been thinking a damn lot these few days.

i mean, how couldnt i? everyday , theres seems to be some kind of comment or critique that people around me keep piling on.

hell yeah, i aint perfect.

in fact, im FAR FAR FAR from that kind of adjective.

i dont smile much, no i dont. so? people keep telling me,

"snyumla sket,kan elok?"

eyh tolong la!

muke ak cmnie.

korang igt snang kot snyum x ikhlas,

i have way better things to do than to be something im not.

it does seem like a simple act to do.

but hey,

when ur faking ; sometimes its hurts just doing so.

it feels like you're constantly watched,

yeah,

im not liking me much either.

seriously,

i know im in dire need of a personality make up,

im bitchy, whiny and pretty damn arrogant.

do you think i like the way i am?

how bout u then, r u loving what you are now?

yeah,

we need to constantly improve ourselves ; note taken,

but im.just.so.sick! of people telling me how to live my life.

just leave me be,

i am aware,

im just taking my sweet time with this.

sorry la kalo mane2 yg trase.

maaf zahir batin kali kedua la.

heck,i even suck at apologizing.

so jgn mrajok ngan ak, nnt makan pang. haha,jk,jk.

i love my family,

and all my friends.

but im not really comfortable in showing that.

not obviously anyway.

o yeah,

harini de sorang makhluk post lagu baru.

eyhhh ko ni,

kitorang da ckup sdey by the fact that we only have less than a month left with her,

ayt2 jiwang bunga2 mu langsung tidak memudahkan proses oke?

still. *lagu ko sdap weyh.haha*

im so gonna miss u sygku. u know who you are.

oh yeah,

almost forgot.

kucingku diculik orang.

nasib ar bela kucing comel sgt.

kan dh tnggal sekor2 mr.gendut tu tnpa temannya.

hohoh.

kalo pnculik tu baca ni en,

BAGI BALIK JIJI AKU!.

>bbai.

choked.

This bitter seed ;

I swallowed it,

This painful truth,

Id bury it,

I swallowed them.

again and again

kept them all sealed,

like a rigid dam.

and the it happened

I finally choked,

The dam that was built,

it finally broke.

tick tock.

time's tick tick ticking away.
and yet im still here to stay.
and u know by the way,
im glad he's gone but im still okay. :)


*kebosanan thp maksima made me do this.HAHA

aku ditag.can u believe it? hahahha

♥maceh tag ak TEHA. :)

1.apakah yang sedang anda lakukan 30 minit yang lalu?
FB,downloading new tunes~

2.2 jam yang lalu?
bru bgn tdo da,haha

3.anda suka?
on9.music.art.humor.

4.minggu lepas?
sy blik kampung,agak ok la.

5.tiga lagu yang boleh anda dengar berulang-ulang kali
-current list ; chocolate love-SNSD,i can transform ya-chris brown,a song calling for u-ss501.

*k-pop mode;haha*

6.tiga binatang yang anda tidak suka
-those damn roaches,fleas,n frogs.

7.lima fakta tentang anda
-sy ske mlukis *fakta yg smua org tau kot.hah*
-ada 2 kucing yg montell.haha
-asal tganu,mmbsr kt penang. so ta reti ckp ganu, *sob2
-kuat gile brangan.
-muka kerek siall.

8.tahun depan mungkin
sya jd rajin skit.AMINN

9.saya tak reti
-pujuk org n mintak maaf *dhla muke kerek en* haha.

10.saya pandai
-wat bising n sembang non stop. :D:D
-wat org pikir sy ni sombong gileee.haha

11.kawan saya
;my treasures.

12.saya ada
DeviantArt page? haha,promote2

13.saya seorang
yg baran.ssh snyum.n kasar.yeapppp. *im just darlin' arent i.haha

14.adik saya
x wujud.bongsu tq.

15.saya tak pernah bosan dengan
chocolatess. <3

16.perkara yang orang selalu tak percaya tentang saya
hmm,pe ar? sy ni x sombong? haha

17.saya rindu
currently;uia. more specifically. ; stdy room level 3.

18.saya tak sabar
nak kuar CFS,msuk gombak.hoho

19.laman yang selalu anda layari
FB,DevArt,Blogger n Buzznet

20.siapa yang anda mahu tag?
sape2 yg bace no 20 ni. YOUUU. :D

sekian.

hoooolidayyyy

the hols are here;again.
albeit for only a week.
a blissful,lecture free week it would be. :D
so tonight ;putrajaya central;destination-Dungun!

yeah,goin back to my hometown for a lil' bit, its kinda nice seeing as i havent paid a visit for quite a while.
dah nama cuti en, mestila ar balik kg, bru cuti nmanyaa.haha
so insyaAllah, by weds next week ill be back in Penang.
livin la vida loca~ haha

lookin forward for next week,
hoping to put allll that free time to good use ; for me that is.haha.
chiao! and HAPPY HOLS Y'ALLL!! :D:D

its a BOY!

3 days away till the 1st paper.

Arabic2. *pass pown jdlaa. pning nk hfall.

and on the very same day. I've got leadtrain,

aishh.

pagi exam. ptg mende alah tu pulak.

good news?

uhm,except for FIM, all of my papers takes place before mid sem.

well, thats still not confirmed cuz i havent checked the date for that paper yet.

hopefully its also before M.B.

*ak nak rehat lbey. haha.

oh yah.

how couldve i forgot.

im now officially a makcik , ahaha, that is to say, Alhamdulillah , my sis in law has given birth to her 1st child. a cute baby boy. whose not named yet tho'.

pics to come soon!

after i get them mailed to me that is.

sucks to study so far away in a situation like this.

huuu.

thats all.

ta!~